We created the book to offer tools that you can explore at your own pace. Some of the suggestions might feel helpful; others might not and that’s completely okay. This is your journey, and it’s okay to take what you need and leave what you don’t, we believe you deserve the time and space to do that, in a way that feels safe and right for you.

There is no pressure to complete everything. No one will check your answers or your progress. This book is just for you and yours to use however you choose. Working on yourself and your needs is not selfish; it is selfless and important. Working on yourself can enable you to become the person you want to be. Take your time filling in this book. There is no rush. No one is going to check that you have filled it in. It is private and personal to you.

Self-Care Box

A self-care box is a collection of your favourite items that can help you when you feel low. Fill a box with things that make you feel good and you should use this when you feel the urge to hurt yourself until it passes.

You could fill it with:

• Something you like the smell or taste of.
• A mood lifting playlist.
• A list of your favourite films.
• Some positive affirmations.
• You could put in fiddle toys, play dough elastic bands anything to keep your hands busy.
• Photos of good memories or moments are excellent, like pictures of pets etc.
• Try colouring a mandala.
• Make a distraction list and read it to draw your mind away.

Sleep issues

Our past experiences can affect us when we are asleep. This can be through nightmares or sleeping problems. You may feel that the attack or an aspect of the abuse you have experienced is actually happening to you again in your sleep. If you experience nightmares regularly, it is likely that you will be anxious about going to sleep.

Here are some techniques that might help:

Try turning off screens for 30 minutes before bed as they all give off blue light that affect the brain patterns and keep you awake. Try a book, music or an audiobook instead if you need sound.

Use something you enjoy the smell of. Use an ‘anchor’ to a good memory like a stone, shell or pine cone from a walk you have good memories of. Anything that anchors you to a safe place.

If you suffer from nightmares, write yourself a caring note to put by your bed. If you wake up in the night, read the
note to yourself. Even writing, ‘I am not there, I am safe, everything is OK’ can help.

Scared to travel or go out?

If you struggle to travel or go out here are some helpful tips.

Carry an object with a smell on which makes you feel calm. You could spray perfume onto a scarf.

Wear a colour that makes you feel safe or calm.

Bring an object in your hand to fiddle with. Some people like to use their keys or a small toy.

If you start to feel the panic rising try looking at your hand and tapping each finger one at a time and notice your hands – bring yourself out of the panic into the here and now –you are safe, you have this.

‘5-4-3-2-1’ is also helpful tool to bring you out of bad memories to the present again.

You can read more about ‘5-4-3-2-1’ by clicking here.

You can read more about other mindfulness exercises by clicking here.